A genuine criticism I hear about raising large families is the question of how you are going to impart values and morals on all those children. Everyone knows that you can get help to take care of your family's physical needs... a cleaning lady, a laundry service, take-out meals... beyond that, children need morals and values just as much as they need clean clothes and nutritious meals. Building good character is serious business.
Does having a pile of kids (or a few kids in a short time period) make a mother too busy to give her children a proper moral education? I actually don't think so. It's a bit of a paradox really.. that imparting values on your children can be the easiest thing or the hardest thing.. it just depends on you.
What I mean, is living your life in such a way that your inside matches your outside. Honest people have an easier time raising their kids. Let me explain.
I think we've all heard stories about kids unleashing curse words in school (because they heard the words from their parents) or copying their bad habits (smoking at age 10!) or correcting their mother who is buying movie tickets by reminding her that they are 6 years old, and not 5 years old, as the mother claimed.. because the discounted children's tickets are only for kids up to age 5. Kids notice things, even when the parents are unaware. Kids are the first ones to call parents on their BS.
Back to morals and values and religion and all that stuff that parents are supposed to teach their kids to help them navigate the world. If you can give over all these things to your kids in your actions, then you don't have to use a lot of words. You don't have to buy books or watch video or have cheesy talks like sitcom moms or make situations into "teachable moments"... whatever that means. One good example is worth a thousand words ... and conversely, one bad example takes several thousand words to explain away.
I really think that kids learn more from their environment than anything else. Imagine if a couple in Spain adopted a baby from China. The child would grow up speaking Spanish fluently... but also, he would act like a Spaniard, dress like a Spaniard, prefer Spanish food and have a similar outlook as his parents. I think kids pick up on the non-verbal cues of daily life more than they pick up on a moral 'message... whether it's from a lecture by their parents, from a book or a children's show or even a religious teaching. Think about it... how many things did your parents specifically tell you... and how many things did you just pick up on because you saw 'that's how things are done' ?
It's pretty simple. Don't ever use words that you don't want your children repeating in public. Don't talk badly about other people. Be honest about things even when nobody is looking. Don't break the law. Do the good religious things that you say you believe in. Basically, don't be a big fat hypocrite.
If you don't have to expend all your energy correcting your children and telling them to "do as I say, not as I do" then your life will be easier. At the end of the day, your kids won't be juvenile delinquents because they had store-bought kugels or ate off plastic plates... but they will suffer growing up without a good parental example.
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