An overflowing laundry hamper is a happy laundry hamper

Kids need clothes, that's inevitable. We all do. I've been hearing a few things lately that boggle my mind... friends with small children talking about laundry... lots and lots of laundry.... needing to wash several loads of laundry every day... I don't get it. Let me go on record to say that it is totally possible to raise a family with three little children and not feel like a laundry maid.

My strategy is energy conservation. I'm not talking about hanging laundry to save on running the dryer, I am talking about saving *MY* energy. Towards those ends, I try to do laundry as infrequently as possible and smile as I see the laundry hampers pile up.

The truth is, there are two competing ideas out there about how to minimize your workload in dressing your children and taking care of their clothes. Hear me out, I actually think both of these would work... it just depends on what kind of mom you are,

The first idea is to be a minimalist... only buy a few outfits for each kid per season... something like 3,4 or 5 weekday outfits and a Shabbos outfit. So yes, you will need to do laundry twice a week, but the magic is that one washer full of clothes gets all the kids clothes done! The idea is that you are organized and you know that you always wash laundry on such-and-such day. You make a plan, you have a routine, your life is easier because you never have to think about when you will do laundry... you already know when you will be washing your next 400 loads. Also, you have less clutter in your kids closets and it doesn't take so long to put away all the laundry. I also think this idea is cheaper, since you are buying fewer clothes.

Also, your house won't be a forest of outgrown clothes in boxes and bags. The idea is that your kids have a few outfits that they wear each season (if you're clever, you buy pieces that mix and match) and when your kids outgrow the clothes, they've probably been worn to death and can be given a proper military burial because they have done their duty. (you could also save any clothes that still look ok, it won't take up so much space, since it's only a few outfits)

This also solves the problem of kids who don't like hand-me-downs or kids who have a totally different sense of style than their older siblings. Also, if you have a large gap between two kids, you may end up making the younger one an unwitting fashion victim if the hand-me-downs you've been dutifully saving have gone out of style.

The second idea is completely the opposite... to have 2-3 weeks' worth of outfits for each kid. As such, you don't touch the washing machine until you use up every. single. piece. of. clothing. Doesn't it seem silly to wash the same few outfits when your kids have other clothes they could wear? What's the point of having those other clothes if they never get worn? I don't get it. So yes, you let the dirty laundry pile up... buy another hamper if you need to.

Realistically speaking, you will probably need to do one load during the 2-3 weeks for socks/underwear/PJs... but you don't touch the washing machine if there is something clean (and appropriate for the season and occasion) for your kids to wear. I actually enjoy the challenge of trying to make cute outfits out of the last remaining clean clothing items.... and pondering the deep existential question of whether orange and grey and pink go together.

This is a great strategy for someone who isn't good at juggling many tasks at the same time and leaves a load of wet clothes in the washing machine for several days because she got distracted while she was doing laundry and then this other thing came up and then she forgot.. or if you're an 'all or nothing' personality type who has a hard time getting herself motivated to do laundry.

If you're a master bargain hunter, this strategy is for you... or if you get lots of hand-me-downs from stylish family members or if you like shopping and have the money to buy lots of clothes. The point is not to think about laundry all the time.... if your kids have clothes in their closet, then there's nothing to worry about. Also, when the inevitable laundry day rolls around, you will have an easier time sorting and folding... if you fill up a whole washing machine with only one child's clothes, you take them out and put them all in that child's closet... there is no guesswork about who a particular item belongs to.

Personally, I am a devotee of the second method. This was my strategy when I was in college... I wore every piece of clothing that I could wear before I went to the laundromat. And yes, I still do this for my own clothing too.... also household stuff like towels and sheets and tablecloths. Some people are minimalists in this area too... they will wash the same Shabbos tablecloth every week and use it until it's worn out and then buy a new one. As for me, I have a silly amount of tablecloths.

I think most women I know are neither the minimalist types nor the laundry-binge types
... they're always tripping over piles of kid clothes, but also it seems like there is never anything for the kids to wear. Also, they feel stress every time they see an overflowing laundry hamper... that's no way to live! I think it makes more sense to streamline your kids' wardrobes or to delay laundry day as long as possible. Either way, the name of the game is 'easy'.

Let me add one more thing on the subject of washing clothes, I love my dryer!!!! You couldn't pay me enough to hang clothes outside on the line. Sorry if that sounds snobbish, but snobbishness is not at the root of this disdain for line drying... line drying is more work! If you know me, you would know that I am a big fan of shortcuts, especially for moms with small children. Running the dryer costs money, but money is something that you can make more of... your time and energy is a scarce resource. If you wear yourself out doing household chores and have no energy for your kids, then your priorities are misplaced.

Like I said, I am a big believer in energy conservation.... you do what you can to save *YOUR* energy and don't worry about your carbon footprint.

When should you have your next baby?

I always see women posting on message boards asking “When should I have another baby?”…because getting advice from anonymous internet friends is the best way to make decisions. That’s crazy! Having children is a big decision, not to be taken lightly. 

No, you shouldn’t ask your friends on a chat board! No, you shouldn’t set up a Facebook poll! You can use logic and reason to determine when you should have a baby… and yes, a little math. If you can quantify all the important factors in your decision, then you can calculate the ideal time to have your next child. We’re not cavemen, we have logic and reason on our side.

Take out a calendar right now. Mark down today’s date.

First thing, realize that pregnancy will cause you to gain weight. If you are overweight now, you will be heavier when you’re pregnant. As such, you should be at your ideal weight when you become pregnant. Determine how much weight you need to lose to be at your ideal weight and start dieting ASAP.

-         Take out the calendar and calculate one week for every pound you need to lose. Skip any weeks in which there are Jewish holidays, family events or vacations.

-         If you are sensitive about your appearance, estimate how long it will be until your youngest sibling gets married. The most stylish and elegant evening gown just won't look as perfect on a pregnant figure or a post-partum figure (and remember, all those photos will be framed on walls and sitting in albums for the rest of your life!)... so if you want to look perfect in the photos, wait until your youngest sibling is married before you try to conceive.

Next, realize that new babies need stuff. You should have enough money to buy all the nicest trendiest baby stuff before you become pregnant. You cannot skip this step if you already have a crib, stroller, carseat.. etc (when your older children were born) or from a sister-in-law or neighbour… you must have the new and fashionable version of everything or else your baby will suffer.

-         Calculate 6 months to save up money to buy the best and most trendy baby stuff.. If you live in a particularly affluent neighbourhood, calculate a year to copy Jennifer Lopez’s nursery and Victoria Beckham’s baby wardrobe.

-         If you will look shabby pushing a fancy stroller with a baby in designer clothes, then calculate an additional 6 months to save to buy yourself a whole new wardrobe, fancy sheitel and nice purse… so you’re not embarrassed,

-         If your older kids will look shabby compared to the baby and his/her fancy new stuff, calculate an additional 3 months per child to revamp their wardrobes.

-         If your husband will look shabby standing next to your trendy-looking kids, calculate an additional 6 months to re-stock his wardrobe and find him a good hairdresser.

If you have children, consider their needs too. Taking care of a baby will take your time and focus away from your older child (or children), so plan your pregnancy accordingly so that your children don’t feel slighted.

-         If your youngest is independent, wait until he or she is in nursery school to bring a baby into the house. (calculate two or three years)

-         If your youngest is a little clingy, wait until he or she is in elementary school to bring a baby into the house. (calculate five or six years)

-         If your youngest is a very clingy, wait until he or she is in high school or goes away for yeshiva to bring a baby into the house. (calculate 13 or 14 years)

-         If your youngest is extremely clingy, you cannot bring a new baby into the house until the youngest is out of the house and married.

Consider your work situation. Remember that you will get maternity leave when you have a baby… what can be better than getting free money for sitting at home taking care of your child?

-         If you are currently unemployed, find a job immediately and stay there long enough to qualify for maternity leave benefits. (this varies by country)

-         If you are working for peanuts, wait until you can secure a raise or maneuver into a better position

-         If you work for a start-up, listen for rumors of an IPO and don’t leave your job until after that happens. Calculate however much time you need  to wait until the over-hyped IPO goes through so you will be an insider and will know when to dump your company stock options.

-         If you are an entrepreneur or own your own business, wait until you have enough revenue to hire someone to do your job , while you’re having a baby and for the first few months afterward. If you cannot find someone with your special expertise and skills, wait until they have perfected human cloning... only have a child when you can create a clone of yourself to keep your business going.

Something else to think about is education. If your child does not have the optimal start in life, then the rest of their life is doomed to failure. Find out which is the ideal pre-school, nursery, elementary school...etc for your future child. Also, pick a college. Do not consider becoming pregnant until you have confirmed that the ideal schools have room and until your future child is accepted into their program.

Once you've made all the necessary calculations, you should be able to pinpoint when the ideal time to bring a child into this world. Congratulations! You are making your decision based on knowledge and preparation, while most women only base their decisions on hope or dreams or faith... and we all know that those things aren't infallible.

Cutting the blab...

One of the few things I seriously hate about having little kids is talking. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that the life of a mother of small children involves a lot of blab blab blab. I don't mean communicating, I mean blab blab blab... constantly repeating yourself, reminding, reiterating, saying the same thing in 4 different way... it's exhausting!!!

What do I mean? I can ask an adult to go into the kitchen and grab the can of instant coffee sitting beside the kettle... and that's the end of it... I have the coffee 10 seconds later. It's nothing like the scenario of asking a toddler to grab his shoes and bring them to you....

(stop me if any of this sounds familiar)...
"Get your shoes"
"Over there by the door, you see them?" 
"Right there, See? Right there"
"Just walk over and pick them up" 
"Come on, go get them, we can't go to the park if you don't have shoes" 
"Pick them up, OK, good"
"Now bring them to Mommy"
"Over here, bring them to me... no, not to the kitchen"
"Come on.. over here... come over here so Mommy can put on your shoes"
(it all sorta sounds like 'blab blab blab', right?)

If you're ever worked a job in telemarketing or phone sales, you know that constant talking saps your energy even if you're sitting down all day. You're exhausted after spending the day talking away. It's the same with being a mom. I think moms would have more energy if we talked less. Does that make sense? It makes sense to me.

Last year while I was pregnant with my youngest, I caught strep... not once, but twice. That brought the grand total of the times that I've ever had strep to 2. I don't get sick often, so when I do, it's difficult. My throat felt awful. Talking hurt. But what??? I had two little kids to take care of. What worked for me was to find non-verbal ways to communicate with my kids. It was a huge help when I was sick, so I've actually carried this over to present day. It makes my life easier, so I am offering it as a tip to make your life easier.

I'm not referring to baby sign language, which I think is wonderful and fabulous, but more effort than I am willing to put in.

This is what I mean, my apologies if this sounds simple or stupid...

Shaking your head for 'no;' and nodding your head for 'yes'
Raising your hands with palms up for 'I don't know'
Waving your hand towards you for 'come over here'
Saying 'Shhhhhhh' instead of  'be quiet' or 'calm down'
Putting your finger in front of your lips to say 'be quiet'
Saying 'mmm hmm' instead of 'yes' or 'I agree'
Saying 'uh uh' instead of 'no'
Pointing to things instead of saying 'this direction' or 'over there' or 'that one'

All of these work with a little toddler person.

Another way to cut the 'blab blab blab' is to recognize traps that kids set to keep your attention and have you jumping through hoops and using up all your energy talking to them. The two common ones are asking "Why?" and "What it that?" There will actual times when your child wants to know the name of an object or the reason for something, but parenting expert types agree that most of the time kids ask these things, it's a game to keep you busy.

How do you foil their game? (assuming you realize that they're just doing it for a game and not asking something for real) It's easy, answer the "Why?" question with "I don't know"... that kinda stops the line of questioning in its tracks. Also, "Why do you think it's that way?" turns the tables on the kid and lets you be the listener instead of the talker. Kids love to talk!

Also, recognize that kids oftentimes know what something is when they ask '"What is that?", so turn the tables and ask them "What is that?" when they ask you and let them answer you.

Saving words saves energy, especially if you are repeating yourself all the time. I love my kids. There are few things I would rather be doing than taking care of them, but I try to live in my life in energy conservation mode.

Big wheels keep on turnin'....

I recently bought a triple stroller. It's a Valco Trimode double with an extra seat in the front. Why did I buy it? Because cramming three little puffballs into my double stroller was killing it. One of the wheels started popping off, probably because my three kids exceeded the weight limit of the stroller (40 pounds per seat), Some people told me that my oldest boy would start walking by himself once the baby was born, but they just didn't know my Shlomo well enough. He's the kind of kid who turns a 5-minute walk into half an hour. Stop me if this sounds familiar...

"Come on, Shlomo. Hurry up.
Don't pick that up. Stop it, put that down right now.
Let's go. Come on. Don't run into the neighbor's driveway!
Hurry up, Shlomo. We have to go.
No, that's dirty, don't touch that. Come on.
Don't chase that cat, he doesn't want you to pet him.
Put that down, that's not ours. Hurry up, Shlomo.
Don't try to open the door to that car.
Come on, let's go.
Don't pick those flowers.
No, don't eat those leaves. Put that down!
Hurry up...."

Don't get me wrong, he *can* walk. He took his first steps at 15 months. But the truth of the matter is that I prefer to push him in a stroller. Sure, most toddlers can walk... if you're OK with a 3-minute walk taking half an hour. Little kids want to stop to examine every car, run up every neighbor's driveway and chase every stray cat. And yes, you have to keep a sharp eye to make sure they're not running into the road. It's a little exhausting.

So yes, this is my parenting advice... don't push things!!!

Pick your battles and don't push your child into developmental milestones.

What I mean, is stuff like 1) keep your child sitting in the stroller for as long as possible
                                     2) keep your child sleeping in a crib for as long as possible
                                     3) keep your child in diapers for as long as possible

That sounds a little counter-intuitive, right? People say that children should learn to be independent as soon as possible and to do things on their own. Sure, right, I agree. But seriously.... the process of kids learning to do things on their own is sooooo tedious, I don't think it's worth it to push developmental milestones because you read something in a parenting book or because another mom in your playgroup brags about how advanced her kids are. Comparing yourself to others never turns out well.

It's sooo much more effort to push a child to do something they're not entirely ready for. And if you know me, you can guess my opinion about making an effort. Effort is bad. Easy is good. I would rather plop my oldest (3 years, 5 months) in a stroller seat than lose my voice yelling at him to walk. I've done my research, I know where I can buy a stroller for 6.

When my oldest was small, we shopped around for the biggest and tallest crib we could find. Why? To delay the inevitable moment when he climbs out of it and has to adjust to sleeping in a bed. Cribs keep a child contained and safe and out of your way. Once they start sleeping in a bed, there's a whole process of training them to stay in bed because they aren't surrounded by prison bars anymore.. and there are soooo many interesting things in their room to touch and play with and make a mess with. The bigger the crib, the longer your child will stay in it.

Keeping a kid in diapers is the same idea. Instead of coaxing them, pushing them, prodding them, bribing them...etc.. you let it go and wait until they're good and ready and do it themselves. I will never be the mom who wallpapers her house with sticker charts with a smiley-face sticker for every time my child used the toilet..... I'm the one whose kids they make the 'super jumbo' sized diapers for.

Like I said, I love my new stroller. It gives me great exercise pushing all three kids around. More than that, it makes my life easier. For the record, I bought it second-hand and got a faaaabulous deal on it. But seriously? Saving yourself a daily fight with a little boy who doesn't like to walk... that's priceless.

How to turn a long-sleeved shirt into a short-sleeved shirt without sewing and without it looking all dorky

It's finally summer, so I decided to take out my boys' summer clothes and put away their winter clothes. As I was folding shirts, I got the most faaaabulous idea about how to get more use out of some of the long-sleeved shirts that I was about to put away. I'm sure it's not an original idea, but this is what I did to make short-sleeved shirts... without sewing and without it looking obviously hand-made.

This is a good idea if you are low on short-sleeved shirts and don't want to buy any. Or if you're the kind of person who prefers your kids to wear clothes to death and then throw it away rather than to keep boxes of clothes to be passed on to a younger sibling. Also, it's something you can do if your child really loves a particular shirt and doesn't want to let it go just because it's summer.

Look in your kids' closet. Some shirts have arms made from contrasting material. I had a few of these. Any long-sleeved shirt with sewed-in contrasting sleeves can be made into a short-sleeved shirt in 2 minutes. All you need is scissors.

If you look closely, you will likely find that the shirt has a 'finished' short sleeved hem and a sleeve that has been attached on the inside. If the shirt still fits your child and if the fabric is lightweight enough, all you need to do is turn the shirt inside out and carefully cut the sleeves off. Don't touch the hem, just cut as closely as you can to where the sleeve is sewed in. The raggedy edge will be inside the sleeve and totally un-noticeable.

Magic

Stupid lies that stupid people that tell them to their children.

I'm not a big fan of lying. A lotta times, I may blurt out something unpopular or shocking or harsh because the alternative is... well.... a lie. There are many things a parent can do to mess up their kids. In my opinion, the worst thing they can do is to be a big fat liar.

Once a child catches on that their parent is a big fat liar, it's game over. The child loses respect for the parent and no longer trusts them. Moreover, they become suspicious of all adults, worrying if their teacher, rabbi, doctor.... etc are also big fat liars. What kind of kids do you get? Cynical and mistrustful and oftentimes manipulative little liars themselves.

If I can give you one piece of parenting advice, it's this. I don't actually care how long your nurse your baby, whether they sleep in your bed or whether you feed them Bamba at 6 months old or give them only organic sea-kelp as a snack.... just don't be a liar.

Most people know enough to steer clear of obvious lies. You don't say "We'll have ice cream after dinner" and not give your kids ice cream. That's pretty obvious. A lot of stupid lies parents tell are more subtle, but they're still lies and in some ways, they're even worse than the thing about the ice cream.

This is what I'm talking about...

"You're the best" "You're the smartest in your school" "You're the best player on the team" - In the name of self-esteem, I've heard parents try to puff up their child with this stuff. Insincere flattery is a lie. Even if your kid actually is the smartest in their class, it's inevitable that one day, some other kid will get a better grade on a test and your child will be crushed because he believed that he was the smartest and the smartest one is always the best. Kids need complements, but they don't need dumb hyperbole and insincere flattery. In reali life, it's OK not to be the best! (remember, everyone who passes medical school gets to be a doctor, not just the best student in the class)

"You can be anything you want and do anything you want when you grow up" - There's a fine line between encouraging your children to have big dreams and leading them on. Kids need to know how many hours of daily practice a prima ballerina does or how many years of college an astronaut needs. It's a little disingenuous to give kids the impression that wanting something really really really badly is enough - it sets them up for disappointment later in life. Parents need to walk a fine line between encouraging their children to have aspirations, but also recognizing the amount of hard work (and luck!) that goes into everything. The last thing you want is a child who thinks math and science are useless because they're going to be a supermodel or a rapper when they grow up.

"God will listen to you if you pray, learn, do good deeds.. etc" - Parents can't just manipulate their children into good religious behavior by pretending that the Allmighty is like an ATM... mitzvas go in, blessings come out. Religion is deep and complex and you can't make your kids obedient by over-simplifying things. Unless you have a direct hotline to God, you can't say with certainty that He will reward your kids for being good (and conversely, punish them for misdeeds) Besides, this idea loses credibility once they see misfortune happen to good people and you can't explain it away by saying that so-and-so was killed in a car accident because they ate bread that morning but didn't say a blessing afterwards.

"Eat this and you will grow up to be big and strong" - This is one lie my parents pulled on me to manipulate me to eat meat (which I hated!).. they said that my hair would grow long if I ate meat. Well, I didn't eat it and my hair still grew. Vegetarians grow up healthy. So do kids who don't drink their milk or eat their vegetables. Good parents are ones who try to make a healthy diet work around a child's preferences. It's lame to threaten kids with stunted growth to get them to eat their dinner. There are many ideas about what constitutes good nutrition. You never know... your kids may find out that their tall muscle-bound basketball coach is a vegan.

"Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny" - Yes, it's fun to pretend things, but you had better fess up the moment your child asks if something is real or make-believe. Vigorously defending something that's fake makes you look like a liar because they will (one day) find out the truth. It insults children's intelligence when they ask a good question and you reply by heaping lies on top of lies. Also, your child may become reeeeealy skeptical of religion and lump it in with the made-up stories you've told them.

"You are the most important thing in my life" - This is actually a two-fold lie... parents lie when they tell it to themselves and then lie when they repeat it to their kids. I have a huuuge problem with any parenting philosophy that puts the child at the center of the universe. Remember, before you had children, you were part of a couple and before you were part of a couple, you were your own person. Children are high needs (especially when they're small) but when a mother has the mindset that the child is the most important thing in her life, she makes her husband feel sidelined and she allows herself to be made into a shmatta for the childrens' sake. The best way to raise a spoiled brat is to let the child think that their needs (or wants!) over-ride their parents' time, attention, personal space..etc

I actually believe that the best thing you can do for a child is to provide them with a secure and stable homelife. That means that a new little baby doesn't disrupt the whole family's life, but fits into it.

Practically speaking, this means letting go of parenting practices that are "best for the baby" when you become uncomfortable with them or when they interfere with your marriage relationship. If breastfeeding is tiring you out, do it less often or stop. If being a stay-at-home mom drives you crazy, find a job. If you can't be intimate with your husband because the baby is always in your bed, accustom the baby to sleeping in a crib. If home-cooked organic meals are too difficult, serve macaroni and cheese one night a week.

Moms (especially moms with several small children!) need to grow a thick skin and become resistant to mommy guilt. Tell yourself that you're doing the best you can and that it doesn't matter that you're not living up to some ideal standard that someone else set.

I don't know if I have the magic formula for parenting, but I'm pretty sure that if you're honest with yourself and honest with your kids, then you'll be off to a good start.

How to keep friends and influence people to have kids.

As if it wasn't enough that your kids are watching you day and night, parents of small children should do well to remember that another group of people is watching their every move.... their friends who don't have kids.

Let me explain. If you have young children, most of your friends are people who have known you for years and years... maybe school friends or co-workers or neighbors. It doesn't matter how they know you, what's relevant is that they knew you before you had kids and have a "before" picture in their mind. When they look at you now, they see an "after" picture. If they're on the fence about their decision to have a family, they will look to you and think "Is *THAT* where I want my life to go?". So yeah, no pressure.

It's a little bit like being an ambassador... or a Miss Universe contestant. You are trying to present your country and your people in the best possible light and encourage people to come visit your land. I actually think it's a big responsibility... to present your life to your friends in a way that would encourage them to cross over and join you. After all, your kids need friends for playdates, right?

First of all, don't be that mom who has no idea there's a presidential election coming up, doesn't know what an ipad is and is proud to tell you that she hasn't read a book in the last five years that wasn't written by Doctor Seuss. If you were into music or technology or gourmet cooking before you had kids, maintain that interest as much as you can. It's good to have something to talk about besides your kids.... most people aren't really that interested in stories of exploding poopy diapers! More importantly, your friends who are into music or technology or gourmet cooking need the reassurance that parenthood won't swallow up their lives and their personalities.

Nobody says you have to look like Angelina Jolie, but it's a little scary when motherhood renders a friend unrecogniseable. I think we all cringe when she sees a young mom wearing big sweatshirts to hide her tummy pooch, unwashed hair and mismatched socks. I know it sounds awful and vain, but I think moms (especially moms with a buncha kids) should make an effort to get back to themselves... not to turn into a Hollywood glamour model, but to resemble the person your friends knew before your kids were born. So yeah, take 5 minutes to find a cute hat and put on lipstick before you go out. Tummies happen, so eat cottage cheese for lunch a few times a week so you can fit into your old clothes again.

Also, save the war stories for friends with kids. You don't have to tell everyone how awful labor was (hey - wanna see my c-section scar?) or how many times you woke up at night with the new baby (she ate every 45minutes until she was a year old!) or go into graphic details about poop (the first time the baby poops, it's like black tar!). It's not nice to scare your friends... you never know, they might have an easier time of things than you did and wonder why you preached doom and gloom. Everyone knows that raising kids is hard work, you can't lie and claim that everything is easy-peasy... but you don't have to give over the worst case scenario.

Tell the stories of good experiences, if you have them. If you know of someone who is scared of labor, send them over to me and I will tell you my story of taking the bus to the hospital while I was in labor. Yes, I really did that. I went to the post office, then I bought a sandwich and an iced coffee (and a sandwich to go) and then I took the bus to the hospital and Shalva was born a few hours later.

If you have a chance to get out and do something... go! (and bring the baby). It's equally important for you, as a mom, to socialize among adults as it is for the baby to socialize among adults. I've done this with all three of my little puffballs, shlepped them to shiurim, events and parties. If you do this from an early age, the baby learns to be quiet and occupy themselves in public (toys and snacks also help) . You get the added bonus of showing off your cutie-pie baby to your friends (ooooh..... aaaaah.... look at the pink bow in her hair!). If you're going out, it's a good idea to keep the baby awake for a while and then feed them right before you have to leave. You may luck out and get the baby to fall asleep in the stroller and stay asleep for most of the time that you are out.

Everyone has seen screamy babies and fussy babies in public, so imagine the surprise your friends will get when you go somewhere with a baby who doesn't scream the whole time. If nothing else, this is the one thing that can make your childless friends contemplate having one of their own.... mission accomplished!